23 November 2005

Why I Don't Cook

It has been a long-standing tradition in my family to prepare most of our food the day before Thanksgiving. Mom enlisted my help today, though I dare say she is sorry she did.

My assignment: southern home-style grits. My mission: to successfully cook them.

Hurried and impatient, I quickly glanced over the recipe. "Preheat oven to 350 F." Simple enough. However simple, I forgot to check the oven for ONBT (obejcts not belonging there). "Boil grits in 6 cups of water." Oh look, there's already a pot boiling for me. Mom must have done it. How nice. I dumped the grits in and retrieved the remaining ingredients.

*SNIFF* What's that smell? My brother, Jeremy, whirled around and uttered a "@%$%^$^" as he flew to the smoking oven. Oops. Apparently Dad had left the pumpkin-cranberry bread in the oven. Mom returned from her five-minute absence to bewail the loss of our breakfast and gave me a lecture (for the 100th time) about checking the oven before turning it on. I returned to the grits with my tail tucked between my legs.

"Is the water for my sweet potatoes boiling yet?" Mom questioned. Oops again.

"That water?" I pointed sheepishly to my boiling grits. Mom rolled her eyes. "I'll clean the pot for you," I offered.

The grits were done and I added the remaining ingredients.

"Wait! Which cheese is that?" Mom asked as I dumped 1 pound of cheddar into the pot. "That's the wrong cheese! You were supposed to use the processed cheese." Oops again and again.

Mom helped me finish for fear I should burn something, or use something I wasn't supposed to, or add the wrong ingredient.

"Can I help cook anything else?" I asked, trying to make amends.

"No!" Mom, Dad, and Jer shouted in unison.

11 Comments:

At 27 November, 2005 19:05, Blogger Palm boy said...

Were the grits for breakfast?

 
At 28 November, 2005 14:40, Blogger TheEarthCanBeMoved said...

Rough day huh.
I spent that day sleeping.
BTW Congrats on your Citation.
I didn't see you after church though.
Where'd you go?

 
At 28 November, 2005 23:49, Blogger Julia said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 28 November, 2005 23:51, Blogger Julia said...

Woops. Im still figuring this out!
:) oh yes, this is Julia from church just fyi

 
At 29 November, 2005 12:21, Blogger Hannah Beth said...

Bummer. I can sympathize with cooking troubles. I can't really cook anything well from scratch, with the exception of macaroni 'n cheese. One would think that dumping ingredients into a pan and heating it in some way or another successfully would be a cinch, but it isn't.

 
At 29 November, 2005 14:08, Blogger Julia said...

Carey! I need to send you something in email.. whats the address?

 
At 30 November, 2005 21:08, Blogger Carey said...

My e-mail is clnofziger@yahoo.com

 
At 30 November, 2005 21:11, Blogger Carey said...

Jason - I went home. I looked for you, but my tribe wanted to go home and eat. It's kinda hard to find people afterward. How come you were there? You sorta startled me (but that was because I never expected to see you).

 
At 30 November, 2005 21:12, Blogger Carey said...

Robert - no, the grits weren't for breakfast. They were a side dish.

 
At 06 December, 2005 06:03, Blogger Palm boy said...

Hey! How'd you know my name????

Jason was here for thanksgiving, and he was EVERYWHERE. He came to robotics, then was at laserquest for his brothers party, and then showed us lego video's on his laptop. I never have seen that much lego blood in a video before. :D

TIP: Don't make Mac'n'Chese while making Tapicoa pudding. It is WAY to easy to put the tapica into the noodles.

 
At 07 December, 2005 14:56, Blogger Carey said...

I have my sources... and I also know your last name (Wood) and where you live and... *laughs* Just kidding. I know your name becuase Hannah told me.

 

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