15 February 2006

I know what you did last Valentines Day...

Usually, I spend my Valentines Day by stewing at home in a hateful feminist mood. This year, I decided to change things. Sure, I still had my feminist moments, but I had FUN this time.

As I mentioned in my previous post, two friends wanted to "introduce" me to their life-style. They took me to a Valentines dance hosted by our church's college ministry (so it was quite safe -- no dirty dancing). I must admit I was rather skeptical about the whole thing. All I could think of was how miserable I was the last time I went to a similar occasion... senior prom...

It may sound a little shallow to some, but I was horribly insecure about my image at prom. For an overweight young woman to be surrounded by other young women who had waif-like figures and could get away with any dress they wished, it was a nightmare. I hid in the women's restroom a good half hour and cried before my friend Kate could coax me out. Young men at that age are shallow and only dance with the "pretty" girls. The only two male dancing partners I had that night were my friend's little brother and a very dear friend (who probably felt sorry for me).

With these memories haunting me, I agreed to go to this dance. Am I crazy? I kept asking myself. Will I end up watching from the sidelines again?

I think what gave me more confidence this time was the fact that I had become more comfortable with my image. God looks on the heart, and the beauty of Christ shines more radiantly than any beautiful face could. Character is more important. (Also, losing 30 pounds helps... that's right people, 30 in counting!)

Susan, Julia, and I accidentally arrived early (which was fine with me... my only thought was to disappear in a corner). Susan thought it started at 7 PM. We arrived at 7:20 -- "fashionably late" as Susan puts it -- only to discover the dance did not start until 8 PM. We walked in to survey the auditorium. There were little white lights strung across the vaulted ceiling; a disco ball illuminated the vast expanse of darkness with dots of light, giving off a magical atmosphere. Julia and I tested out the dancefloor while Susan took pictures. We laughed over a running bet that no guy would dance with me.

People began to arrive, and the dancing soon followed. At first, I felt awkward (a common feeling for me), but soon got into the "groove" and let loose. It was so much more fun than prom. Most of the dancing was hip-hop style, but waltzing and swing-dancing were also introduced (which required two instructors for the bewildered crowd). Being more my forte, I actually assisted in teaching a young man how to waltz and another how to swing dance. It was funny teaching a man how to lead, but I really enjoyed myself. And yes, I lost the bet... by the end of my stay I had three different dancing partners... all of the male species.

Though Julia and Susan didn't really succeed in turning me into a "party girl" (whatever that is), they certainly helped me get out of my shell. Thanks ladies!

L to R: Susan, me (lace, pink, and a skirt in one outfit!), and Julia


At 16 February, 2006 08:39, Blogger Dyspraxic Fundamentalist said...

It sounds like you enjoyed yourself.

I would be think carefully about dancing.

I would not want to necessarily say all dancing is wrong. That would be legalism.

However, dancing is an activity that is very focused on the flesh. I am not sure dancing is a helpful pursuit. You must make up your own mind.

Every Blessing in Christ


At 16 February, 2006 09:45, Blogger Julia said...


At 16 February, 2006 11:11, Blogger Carey said...

Sorry, Jules! I wondered, but yesterday was so crazy. I was at home for an entire hour and a half. We really could have used you. Mama and I had 19 munchkins! We had to send some over to the Guess's room.

Matthew, I understand where you're coming from. My dad isn't crazy about the whole dancing thing either (but he was raised in an ultra-conservative household). I am careful with the suggestive dancing, but dancing is a very fun way to get your exercise! (Right, Jules?)

At 16 February, 2006 14:01, Blogger Dyspraxic Fundamentalist said...

Getting sweaty in the company of the opposite sex and watching others do so is not a brilliant idea, even if it is exercise.

Here is my favorite Bible verse-

1 Tim 4:8
'For bodily exercise profiteth little; but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life tjhat now is and of that which is to come.'

'Bodily exercise profiteth little' Amen! I like that. So totally against the spirit of this age.

Every Blessing in Christ


At 16 February, 2006 16:06, Blogger TheEarthCanBeMoved said...

I recall dancing with you at prom.
It's a good thing kate got you out on the floor.
I wouldn't have found you otherwise.
Ask around and see if you can get them to have another one while I'm in town.
I'll help teach this time too.

At 16 February, 2006 16:16, Blogger Julia said...

Sorry Mathew, but i had to say something to your argument toward Carey.
First of all, we were at a CHURCH function. There was no bad or innapropriate dancing, and for goodness sake, since the fall men and women have had to work alongside each other, which means they were sweating and exercising. Im sorry, but theres nothing wrong with dancing, unless your dancing with a wrong intent, or allowing others to be inappropriate.
And be careful not to take that verse out of context. Our bodys and looks are our calling card to the world. While the bible encourages us to not become obsessed with our looks, if we all let our selves go, what kind of example for christ would we be?

At 16 February, 2006 17:17, Blogger Carey said...


Sweatiness rocks!

At 17 February, 2006 00:40, Blogger Dyspraxic Fundamentalist said...

Well, you must judge the question for yourself, Julia.

I am really not sure what kind of dancing is appropriate.

The problem with dancing is that even if it is not of a more provocative type, it still attracts attention to the body and encourages a lack of self-restraint.

We should not let ourselves go, because then we hand the reigns over to our sinful flesh.

I hope Carey does not mind my saying this on her blog. Apologies if I am getting preachy.

Every Blessing in Christ


At 17 February, 2006 05:06, Blogger Carey said...

*laughs* It's okay. I like hearing different view points... freedom of speech is always allowed on my blog (provided no one gets crude).

I understand both of you and agree with different points you both presented... but I am still going to tear up that dancefloor!

At 17 February, 2006 07:52, Blogger Dyspraxic Fundamentalist said...

High heels certainly can make scratchs in dance floors, you know.

At 17 February, 2006 10:18, Blogger Carey said...

*rolls eyes* Can't stand high-heels. I dance barefoot... in fact, I do pretty much everything barefoot (weather permitting).

At 17 February, 2006 12:20, Blogger TheEarthCanBeMoved said...

I'll tell you what kinds of dancing are wrong.
Any done with the worng intent or that causes another to stumble

At 17 February, 2006 12:39, Blogger Carey said...


At 17 February, 2006 14:07, Blogger Dyspraxic Fundamentalist said...

Well, I may end up irritating you all, but I fail to see how one can make the distinction.

ECBM, I presume that you do not mean to say that only dancing where the intention is wrong can cause one to stumble. One could certainly dance provocatively without meaning to do anything wrong.

To me it seems that potentially any form of dancing could cause one to stumble. All dancing draws the eyes to the body. This can lead to lust.

Participating in many forms of dancing involves intimate contact with the opposite sex. Even if this is done as part of a church function with a pastor present, this could still cause one to stumble.

I just cannot see how one can practically distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate dancing. I do not deny the possibility that there might be a difference, but I cannot see how one can draw it.

Every Blessing in Christ


At 17 February, 2006 15:12, Blogger Carey said...

If you are going to that extereme, the mere presence of a woman can cause a man to lust. Perhaps we should all wear burkas and prevent such things from happening.

No, really, if one's mind is led to think such things by any form of dancing, then that person should avoid such activities.

Romans 14:1-13

At 17 February, 2006 15:18, Blogger Julia said...

The distinction is this: wearing appropriate clothing and trusting the people you are dancing around to not be thinking wrong things when you are dancing with them.
It seems to me you would rather we all be muslim.
Its all in the mind. If dancing in any way causes someone to stumble, they should refrain from it, because anything to them is inappropriate. If thats not a stumbling block for a person, dance on! Comprende?

At 17 February, 2006 15:54, Blogger Carey said...

Be nice, children! I think we've beat this dead horse enough! We allknow each other's views on dancing, now let's stop.

At 17 February, 2006 15:55, Blogger Dyspraxic Fundamentalist said...

Yes, I understand what you are saying.

It might be difficult to ensure that all of those circumstances were met.

Appropriate clothing-easy one. But with close physical proximity, it may not help that much.

Trusting people involved- this seems rather subjective. I am not exactly sure how this would help.

The problem is that all of us have the potential to think lustful thoughts and by its nature, dancing is especially prone to encourage lust. Even if one tries not to lust, the dancing will only encourage it. It is a ready made stumbling block to anyone.

Anyway, I think I have posted enougth comments on this subject. This is my last word.

Every Blessing in Christ



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