15 August 2006

Cutural Rebel

Perhaps this will help me clear my writer's block. Forgive me as I rant, but I need to give myself a pep-talk.

Sunday night, I was greeted by my bubbly (and very sweet) nursery co-worker, Kendra; she's a year older than I and fun to chat with. Kendra was especially bubbly that night because she and her boyfriend were looking at engagement rings that week. I half-listened as she showed me a picture of the rings she wanted and chattered about how wonderful her boyfriend is.

Two of my friends are engaged and preparing to get married. Four are happily married with children and comfortable homes. Their husbands work average jobs. They do all the things that most young housewives do. Three are expecting babies.

All of my peers are either dating, engaged, or married. It's culturally acceptable at my age to "hook up" with someone. In high school you can somewhat avoid the dating scene, but once you reach college and beyond -- it's smothering. The pressure is incredible. People look upon you as some sort of freak when you tell them you are not in a "relationship" nor are you planning to be in one for a long while. People are still maturing in their college years. Why do so many of us college students (especially females) throw aside our studies to pursue a romantic relationship? Even my own mother got married during her sophomore year of college and never finished her BS degree.

I informed my mother the other day that I am giving the next three years of my life to the Lord. Not that I'm not giving my entire life to Him, but I have purposed to completely avoid the dating scene during the rest of my college years. It's just me and God. Now is the time to focus on ministry and my studies. Now is the time for learning life lessons as well as in the classroom. I want to finish my Bachelor's degree. I want to go on lots of mission trips.

Most of all, I want to go against the flow -- something I've always done. If everyone else is doing it, then I'm not going to. That's just my personality -- cultural rebel.

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:1-2)

And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:34)


So for all of you singles out there -- see your singleness as a gift from God. Use the time He has given you to the fullest. Read a good book. Dance in the rain. Eat chocolate ice-cream. Stay up late talking with your best friend. Hug your mom. Eat pizza. Go on mission trips. Help in the local shelter. Eat sushi. Share the gospel with the guy on the street corner. Sing along with the radio with your car windows down. Eat a salad (especially after the pizza and ice-cream).

Thank you for allowing me to get on my soapbox. I am beginning to feel much better.

22 Comments:

At 16 August, 2006 05:11, Blogger anyoneUSA said...

right. but if some guy comes around the corner that has the qualities you want and he shows interest in you, you'll fall for him. maybe you're just jealous of the love your friends have in their life. you should probably stop obsessing about it so much and just see what comes...

 
At 16 August, 2006 05:59, Blogger Redeemed said...

I know there is "pressure", but only from people. Remind yourself that the Lord doesn't pressure you in doing anything, He just leads you.

I am glad you are doing like that missionary wife I had told you about. She had made a vow with the Lord to dedicate four years of her life entirely to the Lord (no dating), when the 4 yrs were up, the Lord send her a missionary husband. They are both in China!

Cheer up, the Lord has great plans for you!

*You got the thing on your blog just like Angie has on her blog (as for me and my house...) It's neat!

 
At 16 August, 2006 08:51, Blogger Palm boy said...

I am thinking you were looking at engagement rings off of a cell phone, and that it wasn't terribly interesting.

Solution to the akward looks people give you when you tell them your single: 'I'm still looking' or 'I haven't found anyone I'm serious about yet'.

I think I'll skip the sushi, but I will eat a pizza.
:D

Btw, I like the banners on top. When did you put them up?

 
At 16 August, 2006 13:00, Blogger ~*Joyzey*~ said...

I don't remember the banners being up yesterday...

Yes, I'm almost right where you are. Not all of my friends have gone over to that said, but their working on it.

Same thing happened with my mom getting married at 19! My sis got married in college, but they made a deal with everyone that they would graduate, and they did. They didn't start having kids till they had been married for 5 years too.

I don't have this nice clear line of in college, I don't know what God's plan is for me in the next 2 years. But when I do get into 'college', I plan on doing something like that.

It will just be a little harder if I start working in a different town and have to move away from family and not being in school so I can't just look at the books. And there will be social functions that I will need to attend, and I don't know what I will have to do then. But God does.

Aw man, sorry about me ranting in a comment. I'm sorry.

 
At 16 August, 2006 13:33, Blogger Carey said...

AnyoneUSA: How do you know that I didn't fall for someone? I'm not jealous because I know that God has someone great for me. "Good things come to those who wait." Honestly, I did have the mentality of "just see what comes," but now I need to focus on my studies. I don't think I could even get emotionally involved right now anyway - I have found it quite impossible, actually.

Sarah: thanks for being so supportive. Love ya bunches. *hugs*

Robert: 'Twas a catalogue.

Joy: You can rant all you want. I don't mind. My advice - take your time. Your years as a single persona will pass quickly.

...Unless you're in my case where they pass perpetually. I think I shall start the very first Protestant convent of nuns. Anyone want to join me? LOL

 
At 16 August, 2006 13:48, Blogger мαdd said...

I didn't know that dancing in the rain was something most people don't do.

 
At 16 August, 2006 13:50, Blogger мαdd said...

I'll join your nunnery.

Or whatever that word is.

 
At 16 August, 2006 14:04, Blogger The IBEX Scribe said...

Looks like I'll be in your convent, too, Carey. ;) I'm 25 and oh so very single, but I am okay with that right now. I had a conversation with a friend last night about people who settle when they get married. That's not a good idea. It is not a bad thing to be single. Fortunately I don't feel pressured by anyone to get married. When in the fullness of time God sends a man into my life I will be grateful, but as for now I will wait until I find someone worthy. Hold out for the best!

 
At 16 August, 2006 14:18, Blogger Carey said...

*laughs* Thanks, Angie. Now you can give me pep-talks.

Oh, great! I've got two fellow nuns already! How about we be "The Temporary (or until further notice) Protestant Nuns"?

Apparently not many people dance in the rain. My neighbors think I'm nuts. Actually, that reminds me... I wrote a song entitled "Dancing in the Rain." Still working on the music for it. I have an intro on piano already.

 
At 16 August, 2006 14:39, Blogger anyoneUSA said...

Please. Girls that don't have boyfriends always say this when they're jealous of their friends. They pretend, "oh, i don't want a boyfriend anyway, i'm too busy." then, the minute some guy comes along and pays attention to them, they fall for him. its just childish to make such a big deal about it. Like you want to seem so in control and so strong, but really you're crying yourself to sleep because no guy likes you. oh, wait, except for jesus. he likes you.

 
At 16 August, 2006 16:57, Blogger ~*Joyzey*~ said...

AnyoneUSA, are you a girl or guy? and if you claim your both, then we will pray for you.

But if your a guy, who told you that girls do that? who do you hang with that you have seen that happen?

If your a chick, then your just sounding bitter yourself. either you have a bf and are wanting to pick on the 'poor little girls who don't have one', or your a girl who IS JEALOUS of HER friends.

 
At 16 August, 2006 17:00, Blogger ~*Joyzey*~ said...

"The Temporary (or until further notice) Protestant Nuns"?

I'm not protestant, but can I join? lol. For some reason I think it would be really nice to be able to go to one and just be with God and work/study, and then when God calls, be able to walk right back out to the right guy that's just waiting for us.

 
At 16 August, 2006 18:20, Blogger anyoneUSA said...

hahahaha - wouldn't you like to know? i see it all the time....in all the girls i know. its hilarious. its really too bad that none of the boys like carey. maybe if she stopped obsessing over the bible and jesus, they'd want to date her.

 
At 16 August, 2006 18:58, Blogger ~*Joyzey*~ said...

No, if anything, the one's that she'd want would want her MORE because of that!

 
At 16 August, 2006 22:34, Blogger Carey said...

Joy: Thanks... I appreciate that.

AnyoneUSA: If you're looking for a fight, you've come to the wrong place. You are full of anger and bitterness and I do not appreciate you expressing it on my blog. I am very sorry to see that you do not have the peace of Jesus Christ in your heart.

Your last comment (that I promptly deleted) was obscene and will not be tolerated on my blog.

 
At 17 August, 2006 08:54, Blogger Barbara said...

"Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under your feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." Matthew 7:6

 
At 17 August, 2006 11:25, Blogger anyoneUSA said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 19 August, 2006 20:36, Blogger мαdd said...

AnyoneUSA-maybe you've never met the species of females who actually does not obsess over males. Maybe you've yet to me us, who'd rather spend our time in other more constructive ways.

 
At 20 August, 2006 09:20, Blogger anyoneUSA said...

Ok, well FIRST - focusing on your life is great, but having relationships with boys/men is also awesome. SECOND - Carey here CLEARLY is obsessed with taking care of little kids and being motherly. And I assume that everyone knows you need a Man to help you have children.

But also, its just so obvious that she wants a boyfriend, but she's trying to justify to herself why its ok that she doesn't have one.

 
At 20 August, 2006 11:15, Blogger Carey said...

It's a good thing that I'm motherly, because I'm a nanny and do childcare all the time. That's the work God has given me for now. It's not an obession - I just like kids.

Honestly, I could have a boyfriend right now if I really wanted one. I get asked out on dates frequently. But that's not my focus right now. I have my whole life ahead of me - what's the rush? Sure, I'd like to get married and have kids of my own some day - just not now.

And personally, I don't want to date around. I could if I wanted to, but what's the point? When I get involved with someone, it will be serious and for marriage.

 
At 20 August, 2006 11:29, Blogger anyoneUSA said...

its hilarious the way you try and justify your single life. you don't want to date around? Ok, do you think that you just all of a sudden decide "Ok - now i want a serious relationship and now i'll get married"

Do you think that all of these guys who ask you on dates are going to be waiting around for you to decide? no, they're not. they'll find someone else.

but hey - if you want to just ignore these opportunities and wait until you're ready, go for it.

but this whole post is about you trying to justify why its ok for you to be single. if you were really ok with it, you wouldn't be obsessing about it so much.

 
At 21 August, 2006 04:41, Blogger Carey said...

You use the word "obsess" quite a bit.

Is it not "okay" to be single?

Honestly, I think we've exhausted this subject. I'm quite okay with being single and I'm not "obessing" over it. Singleness is a great opportunity to focus on the Lord and serve others undistractedly. That's just my opinion.

 

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