New Blog

The will be another one soon, but this is it for now...

The Lazy Chef

Update

It's been a good four months since my last post and I doubt I've got anyone still visiting, but perhaps you've visited this mostly-dead blog out of sheer boredom.

So much has happened since February, including my engagement. Yes, that's right. I'm getting married on July 7th. After that, you can call me "Mrs. D".

I think this blog has served well, so I'm going to retire it and perhaps start a new one after I get past the wedding chaos. The link will show up on this blog.

Seek out Silence

I cannot hear Your voice

For all the chaos that surrounds me.

Lord, I long to seek out silence

To hear You with such clarity.

Voices all around me

Try to dictate every thought,

Every action, every decision.

Silence! Silence! I beg.

Let me hear my God instead.

Quiet now, hush, be still

And let Spirit pervade my mind.

Let the silence of the stillness,

With the gravity of time,

Move me where You will.

Oh, but for a moment in utter solitude

To seek Thy face at last!

Stretch out Thy hand, O God,

And to it I'll hold fast.

Suddenly, so suddenly, the din –

It ceases now – all becomes silent,

And for a moment, all is clear.

Torn no more, neither left nor right,

But forward upon the Narrow.

I heed no more the tumult without,

But the Spirit Who breathes life

Into my very soul.

Stay, stay, but a little while longer,

Before venturing out once more.

For life is full of raging storms

And dictates strife and war.

Carey Nofziger

17 February 2007

"God Moves in a Mysterious Way"

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.

- William Cowper

James 1:17-25 (ESV)

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures. Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires. Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.

Make No Provision

Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts. (Romans 13:14)

Ah, the proverbial New Year's resolution to lose weight and 'get in shape' (whatever that means). I lost count how many times I tried that. My spirit was willing, but my flesh was weak... very weak. A year and a half ago, after being fed up with being overweight and really sick, I decided to do something about it. Make no provision for the flesh (Lord knows I had lots of it). And it doesn't just apply to my eating and exercising habits.

By nature, I am a very lazy slob. It comes along with being inherently laid-back. If I had my way, I'd sleep until noon, eat pizza, be horribly unorganized, perpetually late, and never exercise. That's my ugly sin nature, but Ephesians 4:22-24 commands me to put off my old self and to put on Christ. I have to make my flesh do what it doesn't want to do. I have to purposely and daily discipline myself. The more I do it, the easier it becomes.

Eating healthy has become an enjoyment as well as a necessity, since I discovered I can't eat half the foods in the food pyramid due to health reasons -- not too much of a problem (although I do occasionally slide into sin by eating pizza). It's amazing how many forms of food the soy bean can take on. (I would probably die if soy beans suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth.)

Working out is something else entirely. I used to loathe the idea of scraping my lazy derriere off the couch to just take a walk. But after months and months of disciplining myself, I not only enjoy jogging in the neighborhood or jumping on the treadmill, but I actually hate it when I don't work out. Now if only I could feel that way about push-ups and sit-ups...

Over the past eight months, I've also come to apply this discipline to my daily and weekly schedules and am able to accomplish much more. I've discovered that discipline is not just for athletes or OCD people like my mom. Not only does it improve the quality of my life (a lot of my health problems are gone along with 50 pounds), but it is also conforming me to the character of Christ. There are no fast and easy solutions, but slow and determined effort builds character.

"... You have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him." (Colossians 3:9b-10)

Give Me a Servant, Give Me a King

Don't try to sweep me
Off my of my feet.
Don't flaunt your resume
Or your good deeds.

I don't want James Bond
-- No debonair stud.
I don't want Prince Charming
On a dashing steed.

Give me a servant,
Give me a king.

I don't need love poems,
Nor roses so red.
Those things are nice,
But I want sacrifice instead.

No flow'ry words
-- No eloquent speeches --
To capture my heart
None of these are needed.

Give me a servant,
Give me a king.

Give me a leader
Who follows his God.
Give me a shepherd
With gentle rod.

Give me a lover
Whose constance fails not.
Give me a heart
Through which patience
is wrought.

Give me a servant,
Give me a king.

Carey Nofziger
01 January 2007

Delayed or Immediate Glory?

If there is one female Biblical character I'd like to model my life after, it would have to be Ruth. I used to admire women more like Deborah or Priscilla because they were strong and outspoken leaders -- something I strove to be. Now I begin to realize that my former ambitions and plans for myself were very egotistical.

• Ruth came from very lowly circumstances -- not only was she a foreigner, but she was also a widow. In every possible way she was an outsider and "didn't belong."
• She was intimate with pain and sorrow.
• Ruth was willing to forsake everything for the God of Israel. She spared nothing in her pursuit of God.
• She was a selfless servant -- Ruth took the lowliest of labor to care for her mother-in-law.
• Ruth was a hard worker -- she gave 110%.
• Her reputation spoke for her -- she was known among the Jewish community as a virtuous woman.
• She "married smart" -- even though Ruth probably could have had any handsome young man she wanted, she chose to marry a godly older man and was blessed through that union.
• God blessed Ruth because of her obedience and willingness to serve Him.
  

I personally hadn't paid much attention to Ruth in the past. She immigrated to Israel with her mother-in-law, worked in a field, married a much older man, had a baby... big deal. Ruth didn't do any "glorious" things like assassinate a king (Jael), judge a nation and lead an army into battle (Deborah), nor did she have intellectual conversations with apostles and great teachers (Priscilla). She pretty much lived out her life in humble service. Emphasis is placed on her servant's heart more than anything. No gloriously exciting actions. No "big things."

Or so I thought. But the older I get, the more I realize that my life doesn't have to be filled with big, glorious deeds for God (or myself). He doesn't need my puny trophies. What He wants is for my heart to be fully surrendered to Him and His service. Better that my life be filled with delayed glory (like Ruth's) where my actions reap glory for God for generations to come, rather than immediate glory for myself. Do we ever hear of Deborah's descendants? No, but Ruth became the great-grandmother of King David and was thereby placed directly in Christ's lineage.
I think I'd rather have a life of humble service that has long-term effects.

~ from the pages of Carey's journal

The Canadian Chronicles, part 1

My first solo international flight... I waited excitedly at my gate for my connecting flight to Chicago. Then it was off to Montreal!

Sarah and I had "met" online through blogging. We immediately hit it off through e-mailing and phone calls and before I knew it, her family extended an invitation to me to stay with them for a week. It took a little coaxing to convince my mom that it would be fine, and in May I purchased my airline tickets to Montreal for the first week of August. Little did I know that week would be life-altering.

01 August 2006

An excrutiatingly long lay-over in Chicago was spent eating Chinese food and people watching. I kept a list in my journal:

Hassidic Jews: 1
Orthodox Jews: 2
People with a limp: 8
Indian people: 3
Non-military people wearing camo: 8
People with wacky hair: 2

Five minutes before my flight was to leave, I discovered I was at the wrong gate (the flight was leaving for Nebraska). In a surge of panic, I called my mom to look online for my proper gate and then bolted towards my correct gate. Fortunately for me, a flight attendant went AWOL and delayed the flight half an hour while the airline acquired a replacement.

I got an entire row to myself and stretched across with a book my mother had given me: A Chance to Die by Elisabeth Elliot. As I read of Amy Carmichael's constant surrender to the Lord, I was convicted that there were areas in my life that I had not surrendered to the Lord. I wanted to live in a constant state of surrender like Amy did and asked the Lord for forgiveness. Right there, in mid-air, I surrendered everything -- all of my plans -- to the Lord. I wrote in my journal:

This is a turning point -- no returns, no regrets. This was my problem -- I was not living surrender. Now I think I shall begin to see the Lord work in mighty ways... and I want more than anything for Him to use me.

There is such a great difference between experiencing moments of surrender and actually living surrender itself. Just what that difference is, I have yet to discover, but I do not think my life will ever be the same after this moment. What changes will I see, I wonder?

Looking back, I can say: many changes. If only I had known what I was praying for!

I went through customs without any trouble (a rare event for me) and found my way to baggage claim. It took a while to find the right baggage claim, but once I did there was no trouble spotting my loud lime green luggage (I did that on purpose). I looked up at the signs for guidance to the exit. It was all in French.

Then the thought occurred to me for the first time: I am in a country I've never been to before where I can't speak their language, looking for people I've never met before and trusting they'll be here to pick me up to stay with them for an entire week. Am I crazy? I dismissed the thought and headed for the exit (best way to find the exit in a foreign country is to follow the crowds).

Music, Poetry, and Chocolate

For Christmas this year, I asked my family members not to get me the usual practical things like clothing, but to donate money to my "guitar fund." Each donated enough to bestow me with 75% of the needed funds to get a guitar and sturdy case (for travelling). Included with my older brother's donation was a note that said: "The guitar stays in your room." In other words: "Don't you dare practice guitar in the living room and make me suffer, you little hippie." I laughed.

Mom, wanting to contribute something a little extra, presented me with chocolate (a sure-fire winner) and a book... but not just any book. It was a poetry book I've wanted before it was ever published or before anyone knew it was going to be published -- a beautiful leather-bound copy of Tommy Nelson's The Musings of an Evangelical Mind. Years ago, I had told Tommy that if he ever published his poetry, I wanted an autographed copy. It was finally published last year, but I couldn't afford to buy it. But now it sat in my lap. I opened it.

For Carey
Hope this gives you hours of blessing.
Tommy Nelson

I would have cried, but David stopped my sentimental gush with a glare.

Couldn't have asked for better presents: music, poetry, and chocolate (my three passions).