Questions to Put Forth
I should have explained a little more in the previous post "Daughters." This song -- of course -- is a secular take on fathers and daughters (duh). Let me pose some questions for discussion...
The first stanza (or verse) of the song does present a very interesting (and usually true) point -- something I will discuss -- is that a woman's initial perception of men comes from what she sees (or doesn't see) in her father.
Fathers, be good to your daughters -- Daughters will love like you do...
I would agree with Angie's (IBEX Scribe) comment for the previous post. Her situation with her father sounds rather similar to mine. For the Christian woman who hasn't had a great relationship with her earthly father it is harder to visualize a "good" relationship with a man, but for me this has only deepened my relationship with the Lord. I have to depend even more on my Heavenly Father.
You are the god and the weight of her world...
Any woman -- Christian or no -- who heavily depends on a man like this is in a very dangerous position. Women who think like this will be broken at some point. Men -- no matter how good they are -- are still sinners, and to put them on such a pedestal will eventually bring a crushing blow. The Lord Jesus Christ -- the only perfect Man -- is the one who should be the God and weight of our world.
According to the chorus, daughters love like their fathers do. This would pose a question of how much does your environment affect you? Also, refer to Kelly Clarkson's "Because of You" and Lindsay Lohan's "Daughter to Father (Confessions of a Broken Heart)." Both girls blame their fathers for their problems. [And just for the records I do not listen to nor like Lohan or Clarkson, I am using their songs for illustrations. Can't stand... ugh... don't get me started.]
Do your family relationships affect your relationship with God and how you relate to Him? God created family relationships to mirror a different facet of Him -- Bridegroom, Father, Brother.
Any more questions for discussion are greatly appreciated. Your comments and input allow me to write better!
posted by Carey @ 5/20/2006 10:55:00 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
I always found great comfort with this verse:
Psa 27:10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
I used to let my relationship with my mom, dad or brother get in the way of my walk with the Lord, but that is only because it is so much easier to put the blame on anything or anyone else than yourself. Though I didn't admit it until I started a serious relationship with the Lord, proably at the age of 16, the truth was that I harbored a lot of bitterness and letting go proved to be even harder.
The reason why I sincerely believe in drowning myself in God's Word is because His Word Sanctifies and sweetens you up. It is through reading my Bible that I was able to "let go". God's Word cleanses -He cleanses.
My problem was that I read all these wonderful verses such as "fathers provoke not your children to anger", but I couldn't take up responsibility for my part in the matter. Verses like "children obey your parents", "honour thy father an thy mother", "hearken unto thy father", and so many more.
And the most important thing, which I am still not sure how to go about, is forgivness, which is really dumb, considering how many times have I let my Heavenly Father down, and still, He bestowed (and still bestows) great mercy upon me.
How much does your environment affect you?
Your environment is going to have a very big impact on you, I think. In many ways we do what we have seen modeled for us in our parents and other significant people in our lives. As we get older I think we have more power to shape our environment and (hopefully) gain discernment, so our ability to proclaim ourselves victims lessens greatly. When we see that there are problems in our environment we can begin to respond to it by overcoming the obstacles instead of surrendering to them. More importantly, God's power to change us and make us more like Him is not lessened by an environment completely lacking in positive examples. A person can emerge from a situation where there are no healthy relationships modeled and have great relationships with God and other people. Our company does affect us, so it may be more difficult for those who come from a family with poor relationships, but it does not determine our potential. God is so much bigger than our circumstances.
Do your family relationships affect your relationship with God and how you relate to Him?
This is an interesting question, and I am going to answer from personal experience instead of with a theoretical answer, so here's my story. The issue here for me is less with relating to God as my Father as it is with spiritual leadership within the home. My family was always extremely individualistic about faith and our relationship with God. My mother homeschooled me for five years and during that time she did a lot to establish me in my faith. She modeled prayer and helped us to memorize Bible verses, but I don't remember my parents ever asking me about how my relationship with God was. There was no accountability beyond the superficial. I think what I learned was how to do religion more than how to grow closer to God. What resulted was a poster child for the good church girl - I was involved in everything when I was a teenager - who was brooding on the inside and dealing very privately with sin issues. There was no channel of communication opened for issues of spirituality, so my family was probably the last place I wanted to turn for help, so I went nowhere. God is good, and He picked me up and helped me to grow and heal.
I grew the most spiritually when I went away to college. I had to leave home because my attitude toward my parents was growing worse and worse. I saw every "hypocritical" detail in their lives, or so it seemed to me, and I needed to get into an environment where people didn't know me. I needed a fresh start so I could be real with people and be open about my struggles. I took a chance with the young ladies I met in college and I confessed sins in my life that I had never told anyone about and I felt so free after I allowed myself to be vulnerable. For the first time I really felt and really accepted the forgiveness that God had given me long before. It was an amazing feeling. I don't know if I could have done that first at home. I do know that time away from home when I grew in just about every area of my life changed my relationship with my parents completely. Experiencing forgiveness like that helped me to forgive my parents for not being perfect and it opened the doors for improved relationships with my parents and with God.
When I finished college I moved back in with them and I got along with them really well. I spent just over three years with them before I moved out for good in August. During that time my parents almost separated and my dad almost died. It was very hard to almost lose my father, knowing that our relationship was never what I wanted it to be, but still loving him a lot. If he had died I would have lost the chance to fix that relationship any more. God saw fit to grant him almost miraculous healing and we got a second chance. We spent some good time together after that. I think through the hard times God revealed Himself as the loving Father that He is. I know my parents did their best, but there were definitely things lacking that I really wish had been there. "Love God." How? It was left up to me to figure that out. "Pursue a relationship with God." How? This was also left up to me to figure out. I had a hard time, but, as I said, God is good.
After all that I'm not even sure if I answered the question, but I hope I at least provided some food for thought. :)
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