21 October 2006

No, you lead

Two boys from Jer's old Boy Scout troop came to swing last night. There is nothing more funny to see than two highschool boys learning to dance (neither had ever danced before). I taught both of them the Jitterbug and attempted the Charleston. One of the boys, Ben, is a total sweetheart but he has no sisters (and I don't think he's ever physically handled a girl). We worked on gentility.

"Remember, be gentle with me. You have to be gentle with girls," I reminded my six-foot dancing partner (who has the build of a football player). "I'm a petite 5'0", so you can't just sling me across the dancefloor."

Mike, the other boy, dances much like Jer started off -- like a statue. We worked on flexibility and fluid movement. Both boys picked up pretty quickly on the dance steps, but I had a hard time getting them to lead. That's one of the reasons I don't like teaching guys how to dance. They get intimidated and prefer to let me lead, but I purposely have to make them take the leadership.

"Okay, so what do you want to do?" I asked Mike.

"I don't know. You lead."

"No, you're the guy. You are supposed to take leadership, Boy Scout. Don't get me started."

It's not that I wouldn't love to take over, but I have to make conscious efforts to make guys lead. Not just in dancing, but in everything else. I "train" my guy friends (especially the ones without sisters) by purposely stepping back and making them lead.

My friend Adam (who also has no sisters) and I walked into church. Out of habit, I opened the door for him. He thanked me, but then I stopped him.

"Whoah, whoah... come back here. Let's do this over again." I made him come back outside and open the door for me.

"There we go. Let's make a habit of this -- you'll thank me someday." Now he always opens the door for me.

Guys seriously need a sister or sister-figure in their lives. My younger brother, Jeremy, is much better prepared because he's had me to practice with -- holding doors open, fetching tissues and dealing with female emotions, shopping with me, etc. I've taken several guy friends under my wing as their "adopted sister" so they can learn how to properly treat a girl. I don't mind being a learning experience (I've already served as a guinea pig for my mom).


At 21 October, 2006 11:47, Blogger Barbara said...

I'm sorry, little guinea pig :( But you are cute! And God is sovereign!

At 21 October, 2006 16:13, Blogger Carey said...

*laughs* Thanks, Mama.

At 21 October, 2006 21:42, Blogger ~*Joyzey*~ said...

I've adopted two close guy friends because they don't have any sisters. Its worked out okay for the time being, but there is still work to be done. I just have to be careful to shape them for girls in general, not just for me. Both of them are boy scouts btw.

At 22 October, 2006 05:49, Blogger Dyspraxic Fundamentalist said...

I love my sister.

Not that I am any better understanding girls for having one.

God Bless


At 22 October, 2006 10:09, Blogger Carey said...

Yeah, one does have to be careful about that, Joy. For the time being, I'm not having any problems. I make it known very clearly that I'm not interested in anything romantic and my wishes are (usually) respected.

At 22 October, 2006 10:13, Blogger Carey said...

Poor Matthew. ;-)

At 22 October, 2006 15:11, Blogger ~*Joyzey*~ said...

Love the new profile picture Carey!! New hair cut too??

At 22 October, 2006 19:29, Blogger Carey said...

Yeah, just got my hair cut and trying to get used to shorter hair. When it's long I want it short and when it's short I want it long. Just can't win.

At 26 October, 2006 01:07, Blogger anyoneUSA said...

interesting. for someone not into dating, you sure flirt with and hang out with a lot of dudes.

At 26 October, 2006 08:06, Blogger Carey said...

Not you again. Amazing that I could actually be capable of having friendships with guys without sexual connotations, eh? I know that's hard for you to comprehend.


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