No, you lead

Two boys from Jer's old Boy Scout troop came to swing last night. There is nothing more funny to see than two highschool boys learning to dance (neither had ever danced before). I taught both of them the Jitterbug and attempted the Charleston. One of the boys, Ben, is a total sweetheart but he has no sisters (and I don't think he's ever physically handled a girl). We worked on gentility.

"Remember, be gentle with me. You have to be gentle with girls," I reminded my six-foot dancing partner (who has the build of a football player). "I'm a petite 5'0", so you can't just sling me across the dancefloor."

Mike, the other boy, dances much like Jer started off -- like a statue. We worked on flexibility and fluid movement. Both boys picked up pretty quickly on the dance steps, but I had a hard time getting them to lead. That's one of the reasons I don't like teaching guys how to dance. They get intimidated and prefer to let me lead, but I purposely have to make them take the leadership.

"Okay, so what do you want to do?" I asked Mike.

"I don't know. You lead."

"No, you're the guy. You are supposed to take leadership, Boy Scout. Don't get me started."

It's not that I wouldn't love to take over, but I have to make conscious efforts to make guys lead. Not just in dancing, but in everything else. I "train" my guy friends (especially the ones without sisters) by purposely stepping back and making them lead.

My friend Adam (who also has no sisters) and I walked into church. Out of habit, I opened the door for him. He thanked me, but then I stopped him.

"Whoah, whoah... come back here. Let's do this over again." I made him come back outside and open the door for me.

"There we go. Let's make a habit of this -- you'll thank me someday." Now he always opens the door for me.

Guys seriously need a sister or sister-figure in their lives. My younger brother, Jeremy, is much better prepared because he's had me to practice with -- holding doors open, fetching tissues and dealing with female emotions, shopping with me, etc. I've taken several guy friends under my wing as their "adopted sister" so they can learn how to properly treat a girl. I don't mind being a learning experience (I've already served as a guinea pig for my mom).