01 November 2006

What's the point?

Yesterday morning my family received news that Jeremy's former Scoutmaster passed away on Sunday. We have reason to believe that he took his own life. Everyone was stunned. He knew the Lord, but had been in a deep depression for the past five years. I feel so bad for his family. His oldest is a year younger than me, and the youngest is only eight years old. Eight years old. I can't even begin to imagine. That left me very pensive for the rest of the day.

Adam invited me to a party that a lot of the college kids from our church group were going to last night. Unlike most college Halloween parties, it was very innocent with only Dr. Pepper to drink and brownies to inhale, Uno to be played, and pumpkin-carving contests. I'm not much for dressing up in some costume, so I wore a Chinese blouse I bought in Montreal's China Town.

The party was okay, but I felt I could have better used my time. I don't know how to describe the irony, I guess, but as I stood around with cup in hand and smile pasted on my face, I thought, What am I doing here? Watching the other college students bum around and act silly, I felt so out of place (which is how I generally feel with most people my age). I wished I had organized a prayer group instead of going to a party.

It all just seemed so empty and fake to me. In light of eternity, what was the point? Maybe I'm too serious and philosophical for someone my age. Maybe I think too much... but maybe, in the end, I am better off.
Better to go to the house of mourning
Than to go to the house of feasting,
For that is the end of all men;
And the living will take it to heart.
Sorrow is better than laughter,
For by a sad countenance the heart is made better.
The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
But the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.
(Ecclesiastes 7:2-4)


At 01 November, 2006 09:49, Blogger Redeemed said...

yay :) Carey wore her China town shirt!!!!!!!!!!!!

I totally understand how you must have felt. I had a lousy day too yesterday, in that sense. All my friends at work were dressed up and excited for the occasion. It really saddened me. I guess you can say I had a "down day".

You are wise, Carey, you see the vanity in these things. Trust me, you WILL experience the blessings of honoruing God.

At 01 November, 2006 11:11, Blogger ~*Joyzey*~ said...

Because of the sun brun and not being able to rise my arms, I didn't have to go to school yesterday. I Don't even WANT to think about what some of those boys did in Biology Class!

But I get to dress up for the Swing Dance this Friday, so I'm happy.

At 01 November, 2006 12:44, Blogger Julia said...

Two things that im gonna say cause I lerrrrrve ya.
1) I think it was just because you didnt know those people, and you werent comfortable. Because I know you know how to have fun!
2)Theres a time to "bum around and act silly" and theres a time for a prayer group.
Because I got the feeling you made up your mind before we got there you werent going to have fun.
That verse: theres a time to have fun, and a time for mourning.

At 01 November, 2006 13:03, Blogger Barbara said...

You are on the right track, Carey. Gene's death has impacted our entire family. Your brother would not have been in Scouts without his influence, let alone have become an Eagle Scout. Time on this earth is short, although when you're young is doesn't seem so. Read my post on Rubies. Stay close to Christ.

At 01 November, 2006 22:16, Blogger Carey said...

Thanks, sweet Sarah. Glad I wasn't the only one who was sad.

Jules, I didn't make up my mind not to have fun -- I was looking forward to the party all week. It wasn't that I sat around and made myself miserable or I didn't have any fun... I just think I could have done better things with my time, that's all.

"A time to laugh and a time to mourn..." That's in Ecclesiastes 3. After the death of a family friend, (for me) it was a time to mourn. I take death very seriously.


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