What's the point?

Yesterday morning my family received news that Jeremy's former Scoutmaster passed away on Sunday. We have reason to believe that he took his own life. Everyone was stunned. He knew the Lord, but had been in a deep depression for the past five years. I feel so bad for his family. His oldest is a year younger than me, and the youngest is only eight years old. Eight years old. I can't even begin to imagine. That left me very pensive for the rest of the day.

Adam invited me to a party that a lot of the college kids from our church group were going to last night. Unlike most college Halloween parties, it was very innocent with only Dr. Pepper to drink and brownies to inhale, Uno to be played, and pumpkin-carving contests. I'm not much for dressing up in some costume, so I wore a Chinese blouse I bought in Montreal's China Town.

The party was okay, but I felt I could have better used my time. I don't know how to describe the irony, I guess, but as I stood around with cup in hand and smile pasted on my face, I thought, What am I doing here? Watching the other college students bum around and act silly, I felt so out of place (which is how I generally feel with most people my age). I wished I had organized a prayer group instead of going to a party.

It all just seemed so empty and fake to me. In light of eternity, what was the point? Maybe I'm too serious and philosophical for someone my age. Maybe I think too much... but maybe, in the end, I am better off.

Better to go to the house of mourning
Than to go to the house of feasting,
For that is the end of all men;
And the living will take it to heart.
Sorrow is better than laughter,
For by a sad countenance the heart is made better.
The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
But the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.
(Ecclesiastes 7:2-4)