Time to say goodbye

This is my last post for a week. I am so excited to see what the Lord will do this week. Last night I wanted to do handsprings and cartwheels after women's Bible study. I truly believe the Lord has some great things in store!

Be in Prayer

Yet again, I am leaving -- but this time, I'm leaving the country. Please be in prayer for my missions team as we serve in Reynosa, Mexico. Here are a few issues you can be in prayer about...

• God would be glorified in every part of the trip
• God would use us to the fullest extent possible
• God would use this trip to further conform us to Christ's likeness
• God would prepare us with boldness to share the gospel
• God would give us eyes to see opportunities to share the gospel and encourage fellow believers
• God would use this trip as a seed for future missionaries from this group
• The orphans and staff of Casa Hogar will feel loved by us
• The team will unify in service and in love
• Our hearts would be prepared in selflessness, humility, and righteousness before we depart
• Our service will be effective
• We would have safe travel

And a few of my own to add...

• God would bring my years of Spanish to my memory so that I can effectively communicate/translate (I think I'm the only Spanish-speaking team member this year)
• God would spare me from any of my "freak accidents"
• That I would fully recover from this cold I have
• I prayed for a really challenging week -- please pray that the Lord would use this as a time of growth for me and that I would come out stronger and more beautiful in the Lord

We're leaving at 5:30 AM tomorrow morning and returning sometime in the evening on June 30th.

Dependence on God

My people, heed My words; yea, walk not carelessly; neither lay out thine own paths on which to travel. Ye cannot know what lieth in the distance, nor what adversity ye may encounter tomorrow. So walk closely with Me, that ye may be able to draw quickly upon My aid. Ye need Me; and no matter how well-developed is thy faith not how mature is thy growth in grace, never think for a moment that ye need My support any less. Nay, but the truth us that ye need it even more. For I shelter the new-born from many a trial and testing such as I permit to confront those who are growing up in spiritual stature. Yea, verily, ye cannot grow unless I do bring into your lives these proving and testing experiences.

So hold thee more firmly to My hand as ye journey on in thy Christian walk. Trust not in thine own increasing strength; for verily, it is not thy strength but rather My strength within thee that ye feel. Ye are as vulnerable to the treachery of the enemy and as frail as ever; but thy knowledge of Me has deepened, and because of this thy trust in Me should come easier.

Move forward with courage and confidence; but always allow Me to walk ahead, and choose the right path for thee.

~ From "Come Away My Beloved" by Frances J. Roberts

Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise: "For yet a little while, and He who is coming will come and will not tarry. Now the just shall live by faith; but if anyone draws back, My soul has no pleasure in him."” But we are not of those who draw back to perdition, but of those who believe to the saving of the soul. (Hebrews 10:35-39)

Pray Boldly

Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him. (1 John 5:14-15)

Last week I prayed for a challenging week -- and I got it. Looking back now, I wouldn't change a single thing -- I came out stronger. So this time, I'm praying for an extra challenging week in Mexico. *gulp* There, I said it. Lord, I want even more challenge this time. Call me a glutton for punishment if you will (I may be regretting my own prayers within a few days), but the results will be well worth it.

For You, O God, have tested us; You have refined us as silver is refined. (Psalm 66:10)

I encourage all of you to pray boldly. You will never ceased to be challenged, surprised, and strengthened!

The Beauty Myth

Far Above Rubies: The Beauty Myth

Musician of the Week

The Silent Kays frontman and chief songwriter Joel Dennis began piecing the band together in the Summer of 2002 with the help of long time friend and North Texas School of Music classmate Wayne Snyder. After a year of establishing and refining the bands sound, the group began work on their self-titled EP, later described by Dave Sims of Paste Magazine as Smart, earnest pop that could play the stadium or dorm room with equal ease, sometimes in the same tune." Moving over 1,000 copies in their hometown of Dallas on the strength of their live show, soon word spread and fans began to grow. The EP started getting passed around, and Nashville record industry veteran and hit songwriter Rick Crawford received a copy through a friend, immediately contacting the band inspired to represent them. With Rick joining the team and The Silent Kays expanding their fan base with each show, a buzz was generating. A new fan within the ASCAP organization sent ASCAPs director Shawn Murphy a copy of the EP, and he asked the band to play the main stage for a Dallas ASCAP Showcase event during the Dallas Music Festival. The showcase performance was a resounding success, responsible for several expressions of interest from labels and enlisting more fans. While new listeners are falling in love with The Silent Kays music each day, the band is currently in the studio, working on their new album, "Like Knife and Knowledge." The highly anticipated full-length album is slated for a Summer 2006 release and is sure to further the momentum and popularity that has rapidly been growing. (From http://www.myspace.com/silentkays)

A Challenging Week

Last Thursday (08 June) started an avalanche of events -- beginning with me praying for a challenging week that morning (my mother thought I was crazy). Plans for camp had slightly changed due to Jason being retained without leave. Jer and I would have to go without him. Thursday afternoon I was reading my Bible on the couch while Gracie napped and Taylor played in her room. My cell phone rang and I looked to see who was calling. It was Jason's parents' home number. That startled me slightly (because my initial thought was that something bad happened to Jason). It was Jason himself -- which really confused me since he was supposed to be in Colorado. He was home -- after hours of acquiring signatures, pulling strings, and nineteen hours on a bus!

So plans changed once again and we picked Jason up early Saturday morning before beginning a three-hour road trip to Central Texas. I wasn't sure what to expect, because this would be my first year as something other than a camper. Originally, I thought Jason and I would both be staff, but upon arrival I was informed that I would be a counselor for JV girls (ages 11 - 13). They were short of JV counselors so I was drafted. I was overwhelmed and felt so unprepared for such a huge responsibility -- and especially at my age! But the Lord recalled 1 Timothy 4:12 to my mind...

Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

I knew I couldn't handle the responsibility of being the spiritual leader/substitute mother for nine little girls without the Lord's grace, but He received more glory from my weakness.

And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

The week had a rough start, because I started already exhausted from work and a significant lack of sleep over a two-month period. I must admit that I wanted to go home by day two, but the Lord had plans for me. The next day, six girls came to talk to me -- five of which were unsure of their salvation. Throughout the week, the Lord continued to use me (despite myself) in the lives of young girls. It was such an awesome privilege.

Saturday (17 June) was the last day of camp. Jason, Jer, and I went out to lunch with some friends at Chili's before heading home. Between the two of us, Jason and I only had six hours of sleep -- leaving me abnormally quiet and Jason abnormally hyper. It was a sight to say the least. After lunch, we headed across the street for some Starbucks coffee. Jason's quadruple-shot espresso had absolutely no effect on him (thank goodness) and Jer's triple-shot espresso made him hyper for ten mintues before he crashed in the back seat of my car. I ordered green tea, but forgot to ask that the sugar be replaced with Splenda (resulting with me feeling very sick for the next few hours).

On our way, we passed through some small Texas towns (with notorious speed traps). I was pulled over for going 52 mph in a 35 mph speed zone (I never saw the sign). Since it was the very first time I had ever been pulled over by a policeman or been issued a ticket, I was a bit upset. Thankfully Jason was there to calm me down.

So I did receive a challenging week, as requested. Really, God had that planned for me all along. He just brought me to the place where I wanted His will and prayed accordingly. Wow!

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Farewell

I bid thee all farewell for a week. Jer, Jason, and I are leaving for Awana camp early tommorrow morning. Thought I'd leave you with this poem that my mom found (not written by me).

My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I cannot choose the colors
He weaveth steadily.
Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow;
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.
Not ‘til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And reveal the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the weaver’s skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned
He knows, He loves, He cares;
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those
Who leave the choice to Him.

~ Anonymous

Thy Life is as a Weaving

My child, thy life is as a weaving. Beauty shall not come to thee by joy alone. Life may be tortuous at times, and the pathway rough. From fabrics of lovely silk and from cords of rougher materials, I fashion what pleaseth Me. Ye may never know why certain experiences come. It is enough that My hand brings them all.

My grace is limited in no way by sorrow and difficulty. Indeed, it shines like a strand of gold mixed with the black of grief. My hand moveth with infinite love and I am creating a pattern of intricate beauty.

Be never dismayed. The end shall bring rejoicing for both thyself and Me. For ye are My workmanship, created in Christ, even in His mind before the worlds existed.

Doubt not, for My will shall be done.

From "Come Away My Beloved" by Frances J. Roberts

Good Morning

So far, it's been a great morning -- Gracie has been really cheerful (praise the Lord!). The girls are playing in their "castle" as I type -- which consists of couch cushions all over the living room. We are working on sharing today (as well as please and thank you). Even though it hasn't been easy, I am very grateful for this job -- good mommy training. I am learning the true meaning of "dying to self" by caring for these two little girls. What a blessing! The Lord has been gracious to provide me with some training so I'll be more prepared when (if) I have my own children. Now I know a little better what I will (would) be getting into! Of course, it is also a great blessing to be able to be a spiritual influence in these children's lives. What an awesome privilege!

Guarding Your Heart

Far Above Rubies: Guarding Your Heart

Whom Do I Have?

When my future looks bleak
And my life closes in,
When I can no longer smile
Or put on a grin,

You remind me, O Lord,
Why I still breathe.
Whom do I have
In heaven but Thee?

Give me strength and courage
To face the coming days.
Give me, Lord, a vision
For I have lost my way.

Carey Nofziger
27 September 2003

Lompsters and the Evil Empire

We finally got my lap top set up with internet so I can post from nanny headquarters (the D household). The girls and I just got back from a grocery shopping trip and Gracie is now down for a nap, giving me three hours of peace and quiet (for the most part).

During our shopping trip, we passed the seafood section with the live lobsters in the tank. Taylor pointed in excitement, "Look! Look! There's some lompsters!" I nearly died laughing. Lompsters?

Later on, Taylor made some comment to which I answered "You're so smart, Taylor."

"Of course, I know everything," she said matter-of-factly.

"Right... because you're four years old," I laughed sarcastically.

"Why, yes." Taylor has much to learn.

Mom met us for lunch at Mc Donald's (the Evil Empire) and paid for both mine and the girls' lunches. That was so nice not to have to fix lunch for the girls before putting Gracie down for a nap. Of course, it was nice to visit with my mama too. I appreciate my relationship with her so much now that I'm older. Now she's my best friend.

Not I, But Thee in Me

Anything I e'er do,
Lest it be for naught,
Glorify Thee, O my Lord,
Be it word or thought.

May my lowly service
To others be, my Lord,
Of the sweetest nature,
And of the softest word.

Let Kindness be my sister;
Compassion be my friend;
Mercy be my brother,
And Patience to me lend.

Yet, if I can perform
One simple charity,
It cannot be my own;
Not I, but Thee in me.

Carey Nofziger
10 November 2003

Run With Patience

O My child, there is nothing that I would hold back from thee. If thou wilt heed My Word, if thou wilt listen to My voice, I will surely lead thee in a plain path.

Set thine affections upon Me and keep them there. Center thine attention upon me. Yea, set thine heart to follow after Me with singleness of mind. This will remove all doubt at every crossroad. This will keep thee continually at My disposal. Never set out upon a "project." My Life is not project but overflow.

Thou hast already witnessed the verdure of life that has sprung forth where the waters of My Spirit have flowed. How can any doubt remain? But the flesh dies hard; it is true. Even Jesus learned obedience through suffering and self-discipline. And Paul admonished: 'Endure hardness as a good soldier.' All that comforts the flesh weakens the Spirit.

I could by adversity strip from thee the comforts of life, but I will bless thee in double portion, if of thine own accord ye do as Paul and lay aside every weight, and resist the diverse temptations that continually beset thee, and run with patience the course as I set it before thee. "Running" with "patience." -- In these two words I have combined the intensity of purpose and the quiet waiting upon Me which ye needs must have, else ye be overtaken in the race by fatigue of body and soul.

So as I have told thee before, come to Me and pour out thy praise and thy love and thy worship. I will bless thee and guide thee and use thee in My own good time and pleasure. Thou shalt not be disappointed.

From "Come Away My Beloved" by Frances J. Roberts

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1-2)

You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier. (2 Timothy 2:1-4)

My Feet

Carey: Can you picture cute girly shoes on my feet?

Jeremy: No more than I can picture them on a man's feet.

Like I've said before, God gives you brothers to keep you humble. Little children do a pretty good job, too. Taylor will examine the calloused soles of my feet with great concern and comment,

"You have hard skin. Will I have skin on my feet when I get big? Like yours?"

"Only if you walk barefoot your whole life and don't wear shoes."

She looked at my feet again. "I will wear shoes."

Fearless

Joshua 1

1 After the death of Moses the servant of the LORD, it came to pass that the LORD spoke to Joshua the son of Nun, Moses’ assistant, saying:
2 “Moses My servant is dead. Now therefore, arise, go over this Jordan, you and all this people, to the land which I am giving to them—the children of Israel.
3 Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given you, as I said to Moses.
4 From the wilderness and this Lebanon as far as the great river, the River Euphrates, all the land of the Hittites, and to the Great Sea toward the going down of the sun, shall be your territory.
5 No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you.
6 Be strong and of good courage, for to this people you shall divide as an inheritance the land which I swore to their fathers to give them.
7 Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go.
8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.
9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

I love this passage. Three times God tells Joshua to "be strong and of good courage." Three times He says "I am with you." What have we to fear when God is with us? What a great comfort and confidence we have in God!

The LORD is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?
(Psalm 27:1)

Thus my heart was grieved,
And I was vexed in my mind.
I was so foolish and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.
Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You hold me by my right hand.
You will guide me with Your counsel,
And afterward receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For indeed, those who are far from You shall perish;
You have destroyed all those who desert You for harlotry.
But it is good for me to draw near to God;
I have put my trust in the Lord GOD,
That I may declare all Your works.
(Psalm 73:21-28)

Pictures From Yesterday

Jer (aka James Blonde) firing

the Walther P22

David looks a little mad (or maybe
he's concentrating a little too hard)


Jer firing the AK-47


The target I shot with the Springfield rifle

Masculine Day

The afternoon was warm and sunny. I reclined in the passener's seat of David's car; soft rock played in the background as David and Jeremy laughed about my shooting skills. Knowing they were probably right, I smiled and laughed along with their banter. It had been a couple of years since I'd handled a gun and I wasn't even expecting to hit the targets. We laughed about all the other things I'd hit instead -- dirt, trees, woodland creatures, by-standers, etc.

After our arrival and purchase of targets, we set up at the pistol range and David began educating (once again) on how to use a pistol (of which I do not remember the name). It was heavy and had quite a kick -- I did well to hold on. I did not hit the target, but made tunnels in the dirt instead. No surprise. The next pistol was a Walther P22, much easier to handle. David put up a target for each of us to have a competition of sorts. (In my opinion, that's like pitting a kindergartener against highschool kids.) My turn came and I fired a few shots, wincing in concentration.

"Oh my gosh," David commented. "That's a bullseye... dead center too."

"Really?" I lowered the pistol. Sure enough -- a bullseye.

"Yeah, but the rest of your shots probably aren't even on the target," David laughed. Brothers keep you humble.

After a few more rounds with the three pistols David brought, we took the AK-47 to the rifle range. Jer and Dave went first to demonstrate how to fire it before it was my turn. I was absolutely terrified of the thing, seeing the way it threw Jer back. I gingerly took the AK-47, letting David coach me on how to hold it.

"Don't even worry about aiming at anything right now. Just practice shooting it first," Dave coached. I winced in anticipation before pulling the trigger. BANG.

"Ouch." My shoulder will feel those five rounds in the morning. The man next to us was watching the whole time.

"Would ya like to use this, little lady?" he offered one of his rifles, a WW2 replica of a 30-caliber M1 Carbine manufactured by Springfield. "It doesn't have as much of a kick to it."

"Um, sure... thanks."

By then, the moderator had dropped by (I like to call him "the warden") and all three men -- David, the guy next to us, and the warden -- were coaching me on how to properly hold the gun. I felt a little silly and childish, but accepted the multitude of advice before aiming at the 40-yard target. Here I go. BANG.

"Whoah," remarked the warden. I didn't take notice of where I shot, assuming I hit the dirt again and he was saying Whoah due to my extraordinarily poor aim. BANG.

"D**n," he remarked again. Thanks, am I that bad? BANG.

"Oh my G**," the warden exclaimed after the third shot. Part of me wanted to turn around and say "Please stop swearing and taking the name of the Lord in vain," and another part wanted to say "Will you please shut up about my bad aim?!"

"Look at that," he pointed out. "She shot three bullseyes in a row!" Yeah, right... oh, hey... sure enough, I did. By now "the guys" were impressed with the ignorant blonde who looked like she had no idea what she was doing with a gun. (Indeed, I'm not sure I did know what I was doing.)

"You know," pointed out the man next to us, "Ya oughtta get that little lady a [blah blah]." (I can't remember the name of the rifle.)

We fired a few more rounds with the AK-47 before heading home. By then it was very hot and all of us were getting sunburned. Jer and I took my car to town to rent some movies at Blockbuster with some coupons I had. Jeremy wanted to get a video game (of course) but since I was paying, we got three WW2 movies instead. I have this thing for WW2 movies that uphold sacrifice, honor, and chivalry. Call me old-fashioned or weird. Gripping, gory war movies are also the only kind that make me cry. While most women cry at When Harry Met Sally and he Notebook, I cry at Saving Private Ryan and Gladiator.

So today was a masculine day -- hanging out with my brothers, shooting guns, watching war movies, etc. -- my ways of venting not-so-feminine aggression.

You'd better watch out...

My two brothers and I are going to spend some quality sibling time together shooting things. They're taking me to the nearby rifle range to shoot David's AK-47. Try to picture me toting guns -- it's terrifying. I just look cute and innocent... haha.

Dave was having a little too much fun teasing me about my parking ticket this morning, so I warned him he had better be nice or there might be an "accident" at the shooting range. He says he doesn't have to worry because I can't "hit the broad side of a barn," but David forgets that I won 2nd place in a girls' shooting competition at Awana camp (which doesn't say much I'm afraid). That was a long time ago and I've been lacking in practice since then (unless you count shooting bugs out of the air with rubber bands).

"I Love You"

Today was the last day of a difficult week. Gracie had been unusually fussy and more difficult to manage. I had an average of 5 hours of sleep each night -- not the best thing when you work with little kids. The Lord was truly miraculous to provide me with extra patience (I needed every ounce of it) with the girls. Today I was at the point where I am so exhausted, I stop feeling exhausted and operate by auto-pilot. I was just wearing thin.

In the afternoon, Gracie goes down for a nap and Taylor does "room time" (watching a movie in her room) -- this gives me a couple hours of quiet time to read my Bible and drink a cup of tea. Occasionally, Taylor will come out of her room to talk to me or climb in my lap. Today, she came out of her room and stated, "I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I will very miss you much when you leave." That brought tears to my eyes.

"I love you too, Taylor. Did you know that?"

"Yeah." She snuggled under my arm. That just made my day -- actually, that made my week -- just to hear "I love you" from a four-year-old girl. You never know how much you affect people. Taylor knew I loved her without me saying a word.

I don't often say "I love you" to people, but having someone say it to me really meant a lot. It's not everything, because I put a higher value on actions that say "I love you" rather than the words themselves, but those three little words really made a difference today.

God is my Refuge

"Oh that I knew where I might find Him! that I might come even to His seat! I would order my cause before Him, and fill my mouth with arguments." -- Job 23:3-4

In Job's uttermost extremity he cried after the Lord. The longing desire of an afflicted child of God is once more to see his Father's face. His first prayer is not, "Oh that I might be healed of the disease which now festers in every part of my body!" nor even, "Oh that I might see my children restored from the jaws of the grave , and my property once more brought from the hand of the spoiler!" but the first and uttermost cry is "Oh that I knew where I might find Him -- who is my God! that I might come even to His seat!"

God's children run home when the storm comes on. It is the heaven-born instinct of a gracious soul to seek shelter from all ills beneath the wings of Jehovah. "He that hath made his refuge God," might serve as the title of a true believer. A hypocrite, when he feels that he has been afflicted by God, resents the inflictions, and, like a slave, would run from the master who has scourged him; but not so the true heir of heaven, he kisses the hand which smote him, and seeks shelter from the rod in the very bosom of that very God who frowned upon him.

You will observe that the desire to commune with God is intensified by the failure of all other sources of consolation... Nothing teaches us so much the preciousness of the Creator as when we learn the emptiness of all besides.

-- From "Effective Prayer" by Charles H. Spurgeon

Queen of Freak Accidents

Time for a not-so-serious post...

I sprained my ankle in bed. That's right -- in bed. Apparently I'm a very wild sleeper. A couple of days ago, my left foot somehow got twisted into the sheets. When my alarm went off, I leapt out of bed (as usual), but this time my foot was caught and I found myself hanging head-first from my bed before hitting the floor with a thud. Since then, my ankle has been slightly swollen and very sore.

The odd thing is that this is not the first time I have sprained my ankle this way. I find very creative ways to injure myself. How many people do you know who sprain their ankles in bed (more than once)? Or sprain their knees by playing basketball in flip-flops? Or get gouges in their heads by running into trees?

I Need Thee Every Hour

You do not realize how much you need the Lord until He has brought you to your knees through trials and sometimes sheer exhaustion. When you have no strength of your own left, you realize just how much you need the Lord for even small daily tasks. I have no doubt the Father takes great delight when He hears us say "I need Thee every hour." Every hour. Every minute. Every second.

One of my favorite passages of Scripture is Lamentations 3. Jeremiah speaks of great affliction and trials, yet in the middle of the chapter a glimmer of hope rings out --

This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. Through the LORD'’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "“Therefore I hope in Him!"” The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. (vs. 21-26)

Our heavenly Father is good to those who wait on Him and seek Him diligently. His compassions fail not -- they are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness! What great hope we have in Him!

I need thee every hour,
Most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like thine
Can peace afford.

I need Thee, O I need thee;
Every hour I need Thee!
O bless me now, my Savior--
I come to Thee.